Driving Distracted Awareness Month Ends Today

Today is the last day of Driving Distraction Awareness Month.

Tomorrow marks the anniversary of the death of my friend Polly Mae Tolonen.

DDAM barely made it on the radar of media. Pretty pathetic really considering car crashes are the number one cause of death to kids. Polly wasn't a kid when she died, she was 33, her 34th birthday was to be 13 days later.

Today I got my hair done. I have missed talking about hair since her passing. Because hair is trivial, silly and fun. Death is none of those things.

Months before he death we watched one of my husband's screeners. Polly and I watched "The Diving Bell and the Butterfly" about a man, who come to think of it now, became paralyzed in his body due to a car crash.

We shuttered as we watched it.

Just last night I watched "The Impossible" with Naomi Watts. It's a horrifying film.

The reason I bring up the films is they both stand for two different kinds of ways we die. One is a completely unavoidable tragedy and the other is caused by our carelessness.  Death and tragedy are of course around every corner as are beauty and hope.

But I believe in my core that we need to do more to drive more safely. This is not something to just be accepted as we would a tsunami, unavoidable, uncontrollable. Because it is not.

And so I sport my somewhat dorky new Fix The Toaster t-shirt, got my hair done and had my son snap my photo, giggling because I think Polly would have enjoyed making fun of me for this venture.

But it has become a passion.

Polly was pursuing her passion, acting.

My Temple emailed me today and said that her name would be said at this Friday's Shabbat service. It's a Jewish custom called The Yahrzeit. Myself not being Jewish I've only learned of it since her death. So this will be the 4th year her sweet name echoes through Los Angeles and candle will be lit in her name. The candle can burn for up to 24 hours.

I just wish I was calling her or greeting her as she came over and could see my kids.

Anyways, drive safe everyone.

Disagreeing With the Argument That Car Crashes are a Given

I just came across an older article, from 2010, written by a mom who was affected by a piece on NPR she heard. It talked about the fact that about 5 children die every day in the USA in car crashes.

The comments she received on the piece seem very backwards to me. Such as:

"Even if you never rode in a car ever again there are many ways we lose our lives, it is the human condition."

Yes, we will all die. But would you write that same sentence if it were commuter airlines killing 5 children a day? Every time there is a plane crash massive investigation goes into it. Our airlines have become very safe due to the pressure and demand to keep them that way.

Would you fly if 40,000 were dying in plane crashes every year?

Another commenter, whom I agreed with had this to say:

Casey@Good. Food. Stories. 12/13/10 at 5:35am

After almost 10 years of being able to use public transportation for my daily commute, I'm back to driving every day. You are right to worry - texting drivers, road rage, blatant disregard of lights and traffic signs (not to mention NO ONE stopping for pedestrians in crosswalks) - sorry to rant, but the things I see on a simple 10-minute drive are enough to strike fear into any mother's heart. 

Why Do We Have Road Rage and Not Sidewalk Rage?

There is rage on our roads. (warning this is graphic)

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uhmOzhPRxQs]

People are pissed.

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BRduBE8OoE0]

I'm not sure about what. But they are mad. I live in Los Angeles and I'm surrounded by acts of angry drivers almost daily. This video is pretty funny about how intense it is trying to park at a Whole Foods in LA. Ever parked at Santa Monica and Fairfax? Uh-huh.

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2UFc1pr2yUU]

Road rage, according to Wikipedia,  is defined as : an aggressive or angry behaviour by a driver of an automobile or other motor vehicle. Such behaviour might include rude gestures, verbal insults, deliberately driving in an unsafe or threatening manner, or making threats. Road rage can lead to altercations, assaults, and collisions which result in injuries and even deaths. It can be thought of as an extreme case of aggressive driving.

And guess what the term was coined here in LA! Due to a rash of people shooting each other in their cars in the late 80's. So LA.

Here are a list of actions that fall under the category of road rage:

The following are common manifestations of road rage, via Wikipedia:

• Generally aggressive driving, including sudden acceleration, braking, and close tailgating.
• Cutting others off in a lane, or deliberately preventing someone from merging.
• Chasing other motorists
• Flashing lights and/or sounding the horn excessively.
• Yelling or exhibiting disruptive behavior at roadside establishments.
• Driving at high speeds in the median of a highway to terrify drivers in both lanes.
• Rude gestures (such as "the finger").
• Shouting verbal abuses or threats.
• Intentionally causing a collision between vehicles.
• Hitting other vehicles.
• Assaulting other motorists, their passengers, cyclists or pedestrians
• Exiting the car to attempt to start confrontations, including striking other vehicles with an object.
• Threatening to use or using a firearm or other deadly weapon.
• Throwing projectiles from a moving vehicle with the intent of damaging other vehicles.

I am tailgated nearly every single time I hit the freeways.

Why are we doing this? Where is this rage coming from? I'm going to give you my opinion based on my 35 years of living.

1. They feel rushed.

2. They are having a bad day.

3. They are a serial killer.

4. They think everyone else driving is an asshole.

Now I have to say that 3 is highly unlikely but 1, 2 & 4 sound pretty feesible. I think that with all of the advancements we have made, technologically speaking, over the past 100 years, our primal little selves have not caught up. We are freaking out. That's why so many of us are on anti-this or thats. A lot of us have long commutes. Our lifestlyes are cram packed with a lot to do.

So two ideas:

1. Plan less things into your day

2. Leave earlier

Humans are not perfect. We make errors.

We will make errors with our cars. We need to be more forgiving and understanding on the roads.

Every day in LA I see acts of kindness, mostly out of my car. It is only once people slide behind the mask of their thousands of pounds cars that they seem to make so many unkind actions. I think that is why this rage is so pervasive. That and the fact that cars represent freedom. And if there is traffic, where is the freedom? How can you escape?

Here is a clip to the doctor who intentionally sped ahead of two bikers in LA, who were not going fast enough for his liking, he then braked and they crashed into his car. Seriously injuring them both. I wonder how much time he has pissed away by that horrible, barbaric act. He was sentenced to five years in jail. As he was sentenced he said:

"I would like to apologize again, deeply and profoundly from the bottom of my heart," said Thompson.

"The physical and mental scars are my fault. I think Mr. Watson said I've not been remorseful or accepted responsibility, I do," he said, telling them that he has recurring nightmares about one of the cyclists crashing through the windshield of his car.

http://abclocal.go.com/kabc/story?section=news/local/los_angeles&id=7208332

I know that when I am rushed, I have far less patience and encounter more aggressive situations. But as I say, it's LA. There is traffic. Plan accordingly or expect to be late.

Have you ever driven with rage?

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